Catcalling. We are all familiar with catcalling. Someone walks by and sexual "compliments" are loudly uttered. I use "compliments" because catcalling is often defended as displays of sincere, albeit obnoxious romantic attention. We have either been witnesses, recipients or givers of catcalling. It has been long held that males tend to be the catcallers more often than not. I must admit there was a time in my past when I thought catcalling was okay, not anymore
Two things spurred me to think catcalling was okay. I do not defend myself. I simply explain that insight I found that helped my understand why I partook in such behavior. I grew up the chubby kid. I did not receive attention other than ridicule most of my life. I longed to be desired and I sincerely thought that catcalling was a symbol of social and sexual worth. At the time, I rarely if ever felt sexy. I was uncomfortable in my own skin and did not enjoy being seen or in the spotlight for fear of ridicule.
In 2016, I had gastic bypass, I was at my heaviest at the time at 376 lbs. I now weigh in the area of 150 lbs. Suddenly, I started getting hit on by guys or maybe I expected to get catcalled and acted in such way. I can say that being objectified felt good in the beginning when I did not know any better and when my self esteem was low. I thought being catcalled meant I was worth something to someone.
Working on my self worth and self love is not a linear progression, There are setbacks and leaps forwards and I continue to do the work and I will say that I love myself more and more each day. Objetifcation sends me the message and programs me to believe that I am only worth so much weighed on a one dimensional scale. That scale can be body size, income, or any set of values that are truly meaningless by themselves. Being catcalled or having my rear grabbed by a stranger does not feel good. I am a multi-dimensional and multi-faceted individual. I am ever changing from day to day and my worth cannot be reduced arbitrarily. I want to be seen as I have the right to be seen as priceless.
Recently, my co-host STVN recounted how he was hit on by cashier at a store. It was obvious. The cashier practically leaped over all the other customers repeatedly to ask him if he wanted help, and insisted that he would check him out at his lane. STVN was uncomfortable and embarrassed with such a ridculous dispaly of attention. No one should have to be put through that experience. Customers want to be able to be customers without being harrassed by an employee and employees want to be able to work without being incessantly hit on by customers while they work.
So if we want to know if I believe if we should catcall? No. How about we move away from catcalling and work up the courage to walk up to someone and say, "Hi, I'm so and so, what's your name? I wanted to come by and say hi." I'll have a lot more respect for you and might even suggest we talk over coffee or dessert.
Below is Buzzfeed's video on the tables being turned and the ladies catcalling men. Enjoy!
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